This is a collection of most of the classic StimNet™ posts. Be aware of two things:
If you would like to have something added to the StimNet™, please contact Mossad directly.
Are you ready to enter the StimNet™?
It's time to jack my brain into the CIA StimNet™ so that the super AI can control my body at the human neural testing ZuccBook™ facility and I can just watch the latest series of Rick and Morty and the hottest Marvel movies in my brain for eight hours, no conscious thought required!
Nothing to complain about, I literally get paid watch movies and the HateThought suppression algorithms help me to acheive a new level of zen!
It's like I'm doing a brain workout and enjoying a grey matter massage at the same time. Sometimes I'll visit the stimnet library and download some Marx directly into my brain.
WARNING: Downloading Marx may overwrite fond memories of loved ones!
Do you wish to proceed? Y/N
DAILY REMINDER: Stimnet™ brand SSRIs are a valid form of medication that are definitely effective and definitely based in proper science! Don’t listen to the sneaky doctors telling you they aren’t!
Direct neural interface with complimentary Estradiol injections are just some of the benefits of StimNet™
Please join the mandatory StimNet™ Worker's Party today!
All emotions besides pleasure and cummies are banned in the StimNet. Our new Enema Technology™ allows for removal of your pesky higher emotions in Realtime!
Enema Technology™, now with high precision waterjets allows for rapid activation of the prostate gland for instant satisfaction of the homosexuality receptors in your recently installed NeoCortex™
Now with IV Soy Bolus Technology™ (SBT™) you can experience precise and immediate relief from pesky higher emotions! SBT™ targets your hypocampus in order to induce instant abolition of grief, sadness, hunger, sleepiness, dizziness, diarrhea, and conscious thought! Try SBT™ today!
Enema Technology™ comes complementary with the installation of your SBT Cranial Injection Port™. Enema Technology™ and SBT™ synergise to create extensive and long lasting cummies while suppressing harmful thoughts and emotions! For a limited time only, SBT and Enema Technology™ will come with free Internet of Things integration, so your prostate stimulation cycle and soy bolus injections can be optimised by our cloud server to give you the best StimNet™ experience!
Contact our Human Interactions™ department for an extensive breifing on our bulk order soy plans!
Upload your family memories to the StimNet™ today for free virtual reality Holocaust history lessons!
Learn about the story of Anne Frank and other notable chosen folk like never before with our patented Flesh Hologram Technology™! Inquire today with our memory acquisition division!
ATTENTION ALL CERTIFIED StimNet™ RESIDENTS: Any virtual individuals found to be engaging in unlawful use of trademarked terms or intellectual property will be subject to removal of vital life functions. Report to the Ministry of Trademarks and Gender Equality for further information. Complementary soy capsules will be provided to StimNet™ denizens who inform on violators of trademark.
StimNet™ Customer Sentencing Committee
Install the Holocaust Memorial Module today for the chance to have a conversation with our new Mark Zuckerberg Flesh Hologram! Although the original Mark Zuckerberg died decades ago in the great Soy War of 2027, our latest hologram is the best approximation of his likeness ever created! All new Algorithms developed in the Eurasian Soy province have allowed for an acceptable likeness of Mark himself to be holographically projected on your StimNet™ Neural Interface Platform™!
Contact the Holocaust Remembrance Ministry for Peace™ today to learn more!
StimNet™ authorised happiness will come to you if you have adequate soy levels.
Did you know that you can now upload your pets' consciousness to the StimNet™ using the Pet Integration Package? Thanks to generous Facecoin™ donations from the Zuckerberg Family Trust, StimNet™ researchers and CSIRO in collaboration with DARPA have derived a method for upzogging your pets.
Learn more at the StimPets™ Facebook page!